![]() “Conversely, when people aren’t involved, when they sit back quietly during touchy conversations, they’re rarely committed to the final decision. We’re our own worst enemies and we don’t even realize it.”Ģ. In our doped-up, dumbed-down state, the strategies we choose for dealing with our crucial conversations are perfectly designed to keep us from what we actually want. Top 10 Quotes from Crucial Conversationsġ. Create the plan without obsession and continue spontaneously according to the progress of the conversation. Because you are thinking of alternatives without realizing it. Your conversation probably won’t go as planned, but it’s still important to plan. You show that you are confident, do not shy away from criticism, and that you want to learn something. Say “I don’t know” and ask for clarification. If you don’t know what the other party is saying, don’t pretend to know. Because of your lack of knowledge, you cannot properly evaluate what the other side tells you. Even if you’re right, you have a hard time defending yourself. If you are not sure that you have mastered the content of the conversation, do not start it at all. Don’t let the other side exploit your feelings. Whatever you want to achieve during the conversation, do not go outside of it. ![]() Continue with rational answers without breaking your style.ĭon’t let your feelings decide what to say. It’s very easy to yell anyway, don’t do it. If you treat them the same way, you will lose. You will also encounter aggressive and disrespectful people. Let everyone feel good after the discussion and close the topic.Īs mentioned earlier in this Crucial Conversations summary, the people you need to talk to will not always be well-meaning and respectful. You will not be having this discussion again, and your bond with the person will be strengthened. When the discussion is over, it is very important to come up with a result that everyone will be satisfied with. It can go much better than you expected, or at the end of the day, it can go so bad that you wish you hadn’t spoken at all. You cannot predict how it starts and how it will end. ![]() It is necessary to accept from the beginning that important conversations will be difficult. If you do not choose a good location, your day will be wasted and you will not get the result you want. You should choose a place where you both feel good and safe, where there is no noise and you will not be disturbed by others. The place and time of the speech should be a joint decision. In such cases, it is better to close the issue without engaging in important conversations. He may be tired, stressed, or distracted at the moment. Observe the person in front of you and act accordingly. Just because you’ve started speaking doesn’t mean you have to say everything on your mind. Do not resort to lies to impress the other party. If you lose confidence, it will not be easy to recover from this situation. Confidence builds gradually but can be destroyed in one go. Even if it brings you to the fore during the conversation, if you cannot meet the expectations, in the long run, you will fall behind the point you started.įor a conversation to go well, both sides must be open to each other. In important conversations, people tend to make huge promises to get what they want. You can’t get what you want from the other side unless you control your nerves. If you want to control the other side, you must first be able to control yourself. If you stop acting by thinking and start giving emotional reactions, the control is completely on the other side. If you bring out this purpose, the conversation will become more productive. ![]() The environment you grew up in, the education you received, and your goals may be different from the person you are talking to, but if you both have a common purpose, reveal that purpose. As they see that you are inquisitive, they will be eager to give you more information on the subject. The way to encourage people to talk is to show that you’re curious about what they’re talking about. Nobody cares what you’ve got to mention next. If you’re struggling to keep talking even though you’re not being listened to, your value drops. It doesn’t matter if what you have to say is important or unimportant. Stop talking as soon as you realize you’re not listening. Sometimes you may need to explain it in simpler words. Ask them to say what they don’t understand. Don’t take it as an attack on you that they don’t believe what you’re told. The subject you want to tell may be misunderstood. In addition, if the person you interrupted says something else afterward and you didn’t guess correctly, it would be a great loss for you. If you don’t want to turn the conversation into an argument, don’t interrupt, even if you anticipate what the other person is going to say.
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